Natalie Lu: Refueling by “Trying new things during trying times”
A collage of combinations of quotes and images doodled by Natalie Lu
0:00 Hello, everyone! Today’s guest at To a life well occupied is Natalie Lu. Natalie talks with us from the perspective of being a Minnesotan, wife, mother, RN, founder of the blog “The Reflective Nurse”, Certified Meditative Movement practice leader, and nursing coach in the area of patient safety in the pediatric setting.
Natalie has a strong connection and commitment to occupying her life in meaningful ways and we delighted in hearing her perspectives on occupying her time in ways that reset and refuel, her three main vehicles to refueling occupations, her life’s mission of connection, and so much more. She’ll share with us of several of her favorite resources, which we will in turn share with you at the end of this post.
Join us as we talk everyday living as community members and as health care professionals. Natalie’s excitement for living fully and focusing on connection drew all of us in and we look forward to sharing this conversation with all of you.
Today’s interviewers are Kary Gillenwaters and Marcie Israelson.
(.0.1:13) And now… here’s Natalie Lu.
A collage of Natalie Lu practicing Meditative Movements and standing by a heart for her blog, “The Reflective Nurse”.
(0:56:35) OT Recap and Reflections
There are so many one liners Natalie says in this interview that will stick with me and there’s a few I can’t help but lift up with all of you. First— when we think of occupation as a means of healing and way of living healthy and contented lives— occupational adaptation is a word often used in the professions of occupational therapy and science. In simple terms— this means when life throws us curveballs, the way we occupy our time changes too. Or if you are a fan of the TV show, Friends— perhaps the word, “Pivot”, comes to mind.
Natalie shares a really helpful phrase that speaks so well to the need to adjust our occupations during a global pandemic when she says, “Trying times call for trying new things”. Chances are— when we experience unexpected, challenging, or trying times— we likely need to pivot, adapt, or try something new.
Natalie’s experiences remind us that trying out different occupations during trying times doesn’t always have to be something new— our occupations can also be something we once enjoyed and decide to revisit. Or they can be trying on familiar occupations in new ways— such as a virtual experience of something usually done in person.
(0:58:00) Her reflection on her preferred vehicles to occupation (which I can’t help but notice is the acronym of FAN), remind us that sometimes discovering what refuels us at different times can best be found by noticing preferred categories of activity or overarching themes. For Natalie, we heard about food, art, and nature— food leads to the occupational paths of the preparation of food, eating the food, plating food as a creative expression of art, food as a shared occupation with family or friends, food as ritual and as a travel guide. Art— art offers the opportunity for the role of the observer of both visual and auditory forms like painting and music, as well as for the role of creator of art in the form of doodling alone or as a shared occupation with her daughter, colleagues, and friends, art as a reflective tool to process her work and to curate meaningful words and images that inspire Natalie and those who witness her art. She shares about nature being a place to get lost in wonder amongst the trees, to reset and be the backdrop of hiking and biking. All of Natalie’s paths to refueling occupations give us the chance to reflect on what those paths may be for us as individuals and as collectives— how might we be more intentional about connecting and creating a sense of belonging through the shared occupations of cooking, eating, music, art, biking, nature experiences, and more?
A theme throughout is Natalie’s personal mission of connection— you can see how the occupations she chooses to refuel share in their ability to create connection and allow for a variety of ways of engaging in these activities. The vehicles to occupation lend themselves naturally to appreciating our differences. In fact— likely they are done in a variety of ways, depending on the preferences of the people involved. We hear her talk about connection as central to her work with both patients and those she coaches in her role as a nurse and nurse coach and how creating possibilities to connect often involve humility, curiosity, and trying on new things. This connection is also beyond connecting human to human, but begins with connecting mind and body in ourselves. She shares some of her favorite methods and resources for doing so, which we will share in the resource list at the bottom of today’s post. By understanding what occupations, activities, rituals, and routines are meaningful to people— we increase our probability to connect and choose next steps that are more likely to lead us there.
It might be becoming clearer why we’re so excited to raise your awareness of the impact of meaningful occupation on all of us— and that’s exactly our goal so go ahead and pause to be excited about what this means in how you live.
(1:01:13)Another quote Natalie shares is a saying her dad taught her that nothing bad or good lasts forever. This saying reminds us that our life’s experiences shift, just like the seasons and weather. And reminds us to notice what we are connecting or attaching to in our quest to adjust to any given situation. As an addiction counselor, my colleague would often call this “loosening our grip” or recognizing when we were spending too much energy trying to control what could not be controlled. This statement invites us to notice what the mantras are in our own minds that allow us to adapt to changes in our lives or the lives of those around us or in contrast, result in keeping us stuck.
As we reflect on Natalie’s mission, the one word mission sounds simple— connection. And, we discuss what rocks or barriers get in the way of that connection. The biggest hurdle to connection, Natalie states, looks to be that we aren’t truly listening to one another— listening with open ears and hearts. In today’s conversation we honor the reality that crucial conversations that have not yet happened, in some cases for hundreds of years, create more barriers to connection.
And then— when we commit to connect, to listen to understand more than to be understood— there is the opportunity to increase our connection and the flow of how we live and thrive collectively. Water cannot move through a large boulder anymore than our connection can take place without acknowledging the crucial conversations that go unsaid.
(1:02:59) I want to note here that having such conversations are likely substantially less frightening to me with my background of facilitating these kinds of conversations for over 20 years. I’ve had lots of practice sitting with the uncomfortable and unknown— and I’m a recovering perfectionist— so if I can sit with the uncomfortable and unknown, and know I won’t be perfect, but proceed with difficult conversations because not trying works even less than being imperfect— I believe in you dear listener and reader, and our collective ability to do so too.
I can tell you without a doubt, not having those conversations has far more detrimental effects than having them. I have witnessed what seemed like immovable barriers to connection in relationships shift within minutes of intentional and authentic connection. These moments are not miracle cures— but you would be surprised what intentional moments of listening to understand can do to diffuse a situation, increase connection, and build relationships over time.
Everyday there are opportunities for us to listen with the sole goal of connecting and understanding. I find myself wondering what this conversation will mean to each of us listening and how we might be more intentional to listen to connect and understand. For me, this is an invitation to notice when I am adding more barriers to connect or intentionally creating the space where connection is more likely to occur.
One way Natalie connects that occupational therapy practitioners attend to in understanding patterns of occupations is in noticing what meaningful rituals are— for her it was a one word ritual. The one word gives focus to the year, to understanding someone else and what may be facilitating or blocking connection, and provides a quick and easy way to try on the glasses or lenses of which someone else views life.
Overall, we hear the joy and delight as Natalie reflects on some of her most treasured occupations and how she weaves what matters most to her into work, play, leisure, and every day activities like cooking and exercising. We hope this finds you feeling reflective, open, and committed to connection.
As always— thanks for listening and joining us on the journey
To a life well occupied
References and Resources from Natalie
Kaizen Muse Creativity Coaching- Little steps to finding your creative muse http://www.kaizenmuse.com/
Meditative Movements - A body and mind connection practice that Natalie facilitates. You can find a practice session at the link below http://meditativemovements.com/reflectivenurse.html
The Reflective Nurse - Natalie’s blog offers more information on salons, reflections, Meditative Movements, and more.
http://thereflectivenurse.com/
Books Referenced
My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Meeting Our Hearts and Bodies
This is the book Natalie references that bridges the mind and body connection to process and understand trauma, racism, and discrimination. Menakem’s work offers us paths to understanding how our bodies process trauma and exercises in how to notice our responses and take steps to practice how to be together so we can heal and connect in new ways. This national best selling book can be found below.
Menakem, Resmaa. 2017. My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies. [United States]: Central Recovery Press, LLC.
See Me as a Person: Creating Therapeutic Relationships with Patients and Their Families
Natalie talks about the book See Me as a Person being a key way to understand how to connect. She notes there are 4 practices to do so: Attune, Wonder, Follow, and Hold. These four practices are guide posts in how to establish connection- in health care and beyond. Koloroutis and Trout walk through the practices and offer examples of how this works and give words to what works when we connect, though we likely didn’t have words for it before. To learn more about attuning, wondering, following and holding you can check out See Me as a Person and the book below it, Advancing Relationship-Based Cultures, which applies the four practices to all of health care and was named American College of Health Care Executives book of the year in 2018.
Koloroutis, M., & Trout, M. 2012. See Me as a Person: Creating Therapeutic Relationships with Patients and Their Families. [Minneapolis, MN]: Creative Health Care Management.
Koloroutis, M. & Abelson, D. (Editors) 2017. Advancing Relationship-Based Cultures. [Minneapolis, MN]: Creative Health Care Management.
