New Year’s Resolutions: Meeting Our Needs part I

By Peter Simon

New Year's resolutions, no matter how much I want them, no matter how much I tell myself that I can do them, are always difficult for me. I have set them for as long as I can remember as a hope and a wish for a better version of myself in the coming year. I find that when I awake the morning of the new year, there is often a new sense of added wonder to the world— the colors feel brighter, the air feels fresher, and my body feels lighter.  

And yet, it seems to be an impossible task for me, as I haven’t been able to follow through with any of them for the whole year. Why is that? And what exactly is it that keeps me trying again and again?

Two reasons come to mind why I try again.

First, and most simply, I think that it is exciting to improve areas of myself I have noticed need support. Because it is a cultural norm within Western society, there is also a sense of community and camaraderie with it. Both in starting it and being unable to follow through with it. This makes taking that leap to try less intimidating and less difficult.

Secondly, it is easier for me to say I will do these resolutions later instead of presently. As if I were picking strawberries, throughout the year I find myself collecting resolutions and saving them until January. My logic in those moments reads something along the lines of, “Why try now when I could do it in a couple of months and with a community of people?” Where that logic fails, is I am telling myself this in February, knowing well that I have ten more months in the year. Failure is a scary thing to do alone and working on ourselves is so personal, it’s a vulnerable place to be. It is easy to see why I have a habit of pushing those resolutions off.

I think it is safe to assume that with many of our new year's resolutions, there is some sense of restoration at the core of them– whether they’re about finding balance in our life, physical health, or starting a new hobby or occupation. Restore has been our monthly theme for February here at Solidago, which begs the question, what do your resolutions look and feel like? What are the purposes and driving factors behind them? How do they help you restore?

When I reflect on my resolutions from the past, I notice that I often have the theme of improving my physical or mental health, such as wanting to lift weights or meditating weekly. I don’t often attribute the word restore to my resolutions. I don’t set these intentions as a way to outright restore the various aspects of health in my life. Sometimes I do them to improve the image of myself that others may have of me, such as body image, or to do things to help my anxiety. 

How may asking ourselves the question, “What do I need to restore?” instead of “What do I need to improve on?”  alter the way we go about those resolutions? Are there any areas of rest that we may unintentionally be ignoring?

February and March are often when I stop doing the resolutions I set in January. An awareness of my new habits and routines gives way to the old and with that comes a reflection of myself, bathed in a sense of shame.

How does it feel within your body when you notice that you have been unable to carry out your resolutions? Do we try again this year or just wait until next? 

At Solidago, we often talk about the seasons and how they make us feel. In the spring, I feel like I am awakening– I have more energy, exercise more, and smile more. In the summer, I take on a relaxed attitude and try to always find something to do, often outdoors. In winter, I find myself more quiet and reserved, my anxiety and depression exacerbated by the cold and expansive whiteness that seem to trap me indoors. 

Why do we set resolutions for a whole year?

When I think back to the beginning of last year, I was a student in school, and at the end of it, I graduated and was studying for my licensure exam for occupational therapy. And between all of that, I experienced many different life, societal, and personal changes. On top of that, as I mentioned, I also was experiencing seasonal changes, namely in the amount of energy I had and the occupations I wanted to participate in. 

When we don’t account for the change that we will go through, no wonder it seems difficult to fulfill our resolutions. 

There is no way to know a year in advance all the things that will happen to us or the world. The Peter I was at the start, is not the Peter I was at the end. How do we find restore for a whole year set by intentions made at the beginning of it and which do not account for all that we have gone through?

As a society, there is a norm to view ourselves on a yearly schedule– the year 2022, our freshman year of college, or being 25 years old. What would it look like to, instead of pushing off resolutions to new years, instead wait until a new season or a new month to start our resolutions? How may this work to serve and meet your needs better?