To Recalibrate or Not— That is the question

Image Descriptor: Compass with the words “Noticing when to recalibrate”

The month of September means a new monthly theme to guide our conversations— recalibrate.

It is now that time of the year where we feel a bit of late summer and the beginning of autumn, sometimes feeling like we are in both seasons while trying to ready for the season ahead— and that’s just the weather.

As we pause to appreciate the gifts of summer and prepare for autumn sending us signs of heading our way— are there any choices or ways of being that no longer work? Are there ways of continuing the same activities that simply need some adjustments, with attention to a few more considerations we are not accustomed to considering?

To begin the month of recalibrating— here is the start of reflection questions on my mind this month— what would you add to the list?

1) How do we connect with one another in a way that conveys dignity, respect, and care for the wellbeing of the whole? What works when people have differing perspectives, sometimes polar opposites?

2) Does this decision still make sense in the circumstances of this moment? What could happen if we chose another option?

3) Have I connected with at least 4 people today (family, colleagues, friends, community members, etc.) in a way that conveys that person matters? If not, what is getting in the way of doing so and what shifts could I make to make space for heartfelt connection vs. a technical checklist?

Reflections on a word that may offer us clues as to when recalibration is in order

This week we had the chance to interview a guest who you will hear from in October on the blog, Angela Montero. Angela introduced us to a Spanish word that doesn’t have an English equivalent that will now likely enter my mind daily— and it may just do the same for you— apapacho.

Even one phrase in English doesn’t fully give it the justice that Angela gives it as she describes it and gestures— she tells us apapacho is a hug that speaks to your soul (the kind of hug that shows you without a doubt you matter, you are appreciated, and you are seen). We joked that the antonym which I don’t have a word for, only a gesture, is the stoic hug that maybe earns a check mark as a technical hug, but really conveys it is more obligatory or uncomfortable than a welcomed gesture and way of communicating from one human to another that you are hugging from soul to soul.

The intention of an apapacho moment

Here’s the good news— might there also be a variety of ways to offer an apapacho that is experienced as a hug to the soul, even if it doesn’t come in the form of a physical hug? Or, might many be able to learn how to hug in this way with a little practice and consideration for why such hugs are not part of our normal greeting routines? When such physical connection is not possible— what are other possibilites?

Is it an authentic, kind, and loving note? A home cooked meal? Cleaning up an area without being asked? Music?

What is the power of a gesture that conveys and is felt as apapacho? What happens if we deliberately seek to add more of those experiences to our days to everyone we meet?

You’re welcome to join me in a goal to offer 3 apapacho like moments a day. It may take practice, but even our practice is likely to benefit us all.

Comment below with any experiences you would like to share from your findings!