Unlearning in 2022…
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Good day, dear reader.
We are now into the second month of 2022 and depending on your perspective, in this part of the northern hemisphere we are mid winter or maybe on the early build up to spring. If the groundhog is your guide— we have 6 weeks left of winter.
Either way you look at it— this time of year is certainly show us it is a good time to reflect on what we want to bring with us into this year’s growing season.
One of my most cherished daily habits has become pausing to ask myself— “What would I benefit from unlearning today?” Which is usually followed by the thought— “I thought you put that down— why do you keep picking that back up?”
The process of unlearning feels far more beneficial when I remember the fact that it is indeed a process and rarely is the path— 1. recognize something isn’t working and 2. never do that again 3. The end— happily ever after.
I have to say though— I often really want it to be so simple. Here’s the interesting thing though— I’m learning that things are retained and stick better when I make mistakes. Realizing when I have made the same mistakes and sticking with working my way through them has done far more for my learning and long-term application of learning then anything that was mistake free.
And, as it turns out— I’m not alone in that. Conversations with friends and colleagues and research about embracing the winding paths confirm similar experiences— so why would we not want to make mistakes? Here are just a few of what myself and others around me have noticed:
1) Take pride in doing things right and with 100% accuracy and correctness (not 95 percent, not even 99.5%— 100% accuracy). Plus— if one’s experience with less than 100% accuracy is the same as wrong, well— see # 5.
2) Making mistakes has meant people being disappointed, losing, or a predictor of future uncomfortable or other highly negative experiences.
3) A belief that if you’re not good at it— don’t do it.
4) Thinking that mistakes weren’t part of the path to doing something really well.
5) Trauma— on small to large scales. This is a topic deserving more than one line but to put it simply— environments that make mistakes unsafe, unmentionable, or precipitating events for harm can guide our actions consciously and unconsciously for far longer than we realize.
Whatever our reasons for being afraid or uncomfortable with making mistakes— what might unlearning have to offer as a companion in the path of becoming comfortable with mistakes as necessary for growth?
What are the consequences of not making peace with mistakes as necessary to growth?
Invitation to action
Option A: Reflect and sift for the gold
Remember a time in your life where you did not know how you’d find your way through but did so better than you could have imagined in the beginning? Make a list of mistakes made and how they helped you find your way through.
Extra Credit for Option A: Refining and deepening learning to try on today
Were there any things you had to unlearn to do so? What were they? How might what you remembered benefit you at this point in time?
Option B: Tell us your top 5 observations for opportunities for unlearning
Do you want to help inform content for unlearning as individuals and collectives? Tell us what you observe to be the top 5 areas for unlearning? Comment below or email us at lifewelloccupied@gmail.com.
